The Russian Bride Emigrant Club
The Russian bride emigrant club forms when your fiance meets other Russian women coming to America. They meet in English classes, or through the marriage agency, or through friends and relatives.
They will meet in ESL classes. She will be introduced to other women at the marriage agency that are coming to America.
She will meet them through relatives or acquaintances, who introduce them to other women coming to America that they have heard about through the grapevine.
She will meet women at the embassy when she goes to take her medical exam and her interview.
When she comes to America, your fiancé will probably enroll in English classes at the local adult school. If there are any other Russian-speaking women there, they will become fast friends.
How the Club Forms
You will get calls from American men you don’t know, who have heard through friends of friends that you have a Russian fiancé or wife, and they are in the process of looking or bringing over a fiancé from Russia. When their fiancés arrive in America, they will frequently become intimate with your fiancé.
Friends of yours, hearing that you have a Russian fiancé, will give your phone number to other Russian people that they have met.
Your fiancé will go to public places where she may overhear Russian being spoken. While she would never do this in her country, she may speak up and say hello to them because they share a common language in a strange land.
This eclectic group becomes an informal Emigrant’s Club. Your fiancé will grab onto these strangers like a drowning sailor to a floating life buoy. This Emigrant’s Club will be one of her survival tools.
She will talk to them to hear the comfort of Russian words being spoken. While everything around her seems strange to her, she will have things explained to her in a way that she understands.
The Emigrant's Club Is Another Tool To Making Her Feel Comfortable Here
I encourage you to help her develop her Emigrant’s Club, as this will make it easier for her adjust to her new life and will reduce the Culture Shock she is experiencing.
Even though you are patient and explain everything to her in the best way you can, she will trust and understand the members of her Emigrant’s Club in a way you will not understand.
They are explaining America to her through Russian eyes – much as I am trying to explain Russia and Russian women to you through American eyes.
Helping her get through these rough spots will be the positive side of the Emigrant’s Club. However, there are negative sides as well.
She will compare you and your actions, assets, income, job, and life style with her Russian friends and their husbands. These Russian women exchange experiences with each other in details that might embarrass you.
If you are miserly, they will know. If you make less money than her friend’s husbands, they will know. If you come up a little short in the marriage bed, they will know.
The intimate details of your life will be paraded through conversations traveling through the grapevine at mach speed. If you are lacking, it will become readily apparent to your fiancé in a very short period of time.
Telephone, Telegraph, Tell A Russian Woman: The Three Fastest Modes of Communication
Personally, I just keep my mouth shut. I don’t say anything that I don’t want someone else to hear, because they will.
They share everything.
My wife took her girlfriend to the jewelry store where we bought our wedding rings and where I have purchased some jewelry subsequently for her for special occasions.
One time, my wife and I had a big argument. When my wife went to the jewelry store, the man at the jewelry store knew all about it from my wife's friend.
So, a word to the wise, I wouldn’t say or do anything that you don’t want the world to know about, because they will.
There are three modern forms of rapid communication: Telegraph, Telephone, and Tell a Russian Woman.
Culture shock is a psychological condition caused by feelings of anxiety and disorientation that affect people who have to suddenly function in a new and different social environment.
Culture shock affects individuals particularly who move to another country or even to a different state within the country. In the case of moving from one country to another, culture shock can be severe.
There are three main phases of culture shock and each sufferer does not necessarily pass through all three of them. They are explained here in layman's terms.
The Honeymoon Phase is usually the first phase of culture shock. When someone is in this state, he considers the differences between his new environment and his old one as wonderful and romantic. He views his new surroundings as a welcome and pleasant change.
He may fall in love with the new pace of his life, the new people he meets and the new relationships he develops. Overall, he embraces with open arms the lifestyle, environment, food and practically everything about his new environment.
Some people experience this stage for a few days to a few months. Others never experience it at all.
Next is the "Everything is Awful" phase. This sometimes occurs in a few days after arriving in a country, but can also take weeks or even months before it takes affect.
In this phase, the differences between the new environment and the old one have become irritating and tiresome, especially the minor differences.
All of a sudden, one finds himself longing for a taste of the food back home or for the friends that he left behind. Suddenly, the pace and lifestyle of his new life are either too slow or too fast.
The habits of his new acquaintances have become annoying. The novelty of the new place has worn off. For most people, this phase can take a few days to a few years. Some people never get through it and return home.
The third phase is the "Everything is OK" phase. Like the previous phase, it may take days, weeks or months to manifest itself.
At this stage, one has learned to adjust to the new surroundings and overcome feelings of homesickness. He has become accustomed to the new routines and rhythms of his new society.
In fact, at this point, he may no longer consider it as a new society, but rather as his new home. His concerns now revert back to the everyday business of basic living, same as in his previous environment.
Finally, there is also Reverse Culture Shock, which is when he feels any or all of the above phases upon his return to his old environment. People remember the good things about where they came from.
They tend to forget all the irritations. When they return home all those irritations they forgot about come back. Sometimes they can't wait to get back "home" to their adopted country.